In a world that constantly measures success by external standards, it’s easy to lose touch with how life actually feels on a personal level. We are bombarded with messages telling us what a “good life” should look like—successful careers, attractive appearances, and material wealth. But when we chase after these external markers, we often neglect the most important part of the equation: how our lives feel to us. The key to living a fulfilling and meaningful life lies not in achieving society’s ideals but in paying attention to our internal experience.

The Problem with External Validation

From a young age, we are taught to measure our lives through external validation. It starts with grades in school and continues with the pursuit of accolades at work, the acquisition of status symbols, and the constant comparison of our lives to others. Social media exacerbates this tendency, with platforms built on the principle of showing off the highlights of life. When we focus too much on external validation, we become disconnected from our true selves and how we actually feel.

This pursuit of validation leaves many of us feeling empty and unfulfilled. We might have the high-paying job, the nice car, and the picture-perfect relationship, but inside, we can feel stressed, anxious, or discontent. The reality is that external success doesn’t always equate to happiness. When we are disconnected from our inner world, even the most successful life can feel hollow.

Reconnecting with Your Internal Experience

The first step toward reconnecting with your inner experience is to start paying attention to how your life feels to you, rather than how it looks to others. This requires a shift in focus—from external achievements to internal well-being. How do you feel when you wake up in the morning? Are you energized and excited about your day, or do you feel a sense of dread and exhaustion? When you spend time with people, do you feel connected and supported, or do you feel drained and unappreciated? These questions are vital to understanding what is truly working in your life and what is not.

It’s important to give yourself permission to prioritize your feelings. This might be challenging at first because society doesn’t always encourage us to do so. We are often told that our feelings are secondary to productivity and performance. But your feelings are the most accurate indicator of whether you are living in alignment with your values and needs. By paying attention to your emotions, you gain insight into what truly makes you happy and what causes you stress or discomfort. This awareness is the foundation for making meaningful changes in your life.

The Power of Self-Awareness

Becoming more self-aware allows you to make better decisions about how to live your life. Self-awareness is like a compass—it helps you navigate through life by pointing you in the direction that feels right to you. When you are in tune with your feelings, you are less likely to make choices based on societal pressure or the expectations of others. Instead, you make decisions that are aligned with your true self.

Self-awareness also helps you recognize patterns in your behavior and emotional responses. For instance, you might notice that certain situations consistently make you feel anxious or overwhelmed. This realization can lead to a deeper understanding of what needs to change in your life, whether it’s setting better boundaries, switching careers, or simply practicing more self-care. By paying attention to how you feel, you can identify the aspects of your life that need adjustment in order to create a more fulfilling and balanced experience.

Living in Alignment with Your Values

Once you become more in tune with your feelings, you can begin to live in alignment with your values. Values are the principles that guide our behavior and decision-making. When your actions are in harmony with your values, life tends to feel more meaningful and rewarding. For example, if you value creativity, you might feel fulfilled when you spend time working on a creative project. If you value connection, you might feel happiest when you are spending quality time with loved ones.

Living in alignment with your values often requires making changes in your life. These changes don’t have to be dramatic; even small adjustments can have a big impact on how you feel. For example, if you find that your job leaves you feeling unfulfilled, you might not need to quit right away. Instead, you could start by incorporating activities into your daily routine that align with your values, such as pursuing a hobby, volunteering, or spending more time with supportive people. Over time, as you pay more attention to how your life feels, you will be able to make more significant changes that lead to greater happiness and satisfaction.

Embracing the Journey

Focusing on how your life feels is not about seeking perfection. It’s about embracing the journey of self-discovery and personal growth. There will be ups and downs, and some days will feel better than others. What matters is that you are paying attention and making choices that honor your true self. Life is an ongoing process of learning and evolving, and the more you tune in to your internal experience, the more aligned and fulfilled your life will become.

Ultimately, the quality of your life is determined not by how it looks to others, but by how it feels to you. By prioritizing your internal experience, you can create a life that is rich, meaningful, and deeply satisfying. So, start paying attention to how your life feels to you, and let that be your guide.