As an African-American woman in my late 40s, I’ve found a new level of freedom and confidence that I never imagined in my younger years. Gone are the days of conforming to societal expectations and second-guessing my every move. Today, I’m living my best life, rocking a short blonde fade haircut, and traveling the world on my own terms. If you’re over 45 and wondering if the best is yet to come, let me tell you: it absolutely is!

Embracing your hairstyle of choice

First things first—let’s talk about the hair. For many of us, our hair is a significant part of our identity. Growing up, I always believed that long, straight hair was the epitome of beauty. However, as I’ve matured, I’ve realized that true beauty lies in confidence and authenticity. That’s why I decided to chop off my course, tangly hair, and rock a short blonde fade.

The decision to go short and blonde was not just about a change in hairstyle; it was a statement. A statement that I am bold, fearless, and unapologetically me. The short blonde fade is not just a look—it’s a lifestyle. It’s about stepping out of the box, embracing my uniqueness, and showing the world that beauty comes in all shapes, sizes, and colors. The best part? It’s low maintenance, freeing up more time for the things I love.

The Joy of Travel

One of those things I absolutely adore is travel. There’s something incredibly liberating about exploring new places, meeting new people, and experiencing different cultures. Travel is my passion, my escape, and my teacher. It broadens my horizons and deepens my appreciation for the diversity of our world.

In my 20s and 30s, I was tied down by responsibilities—career, family, and societal expectations. Now, in my 40s, I’ve realized that life is too short to live according to someone else’s script. I’ve made it a point to prioritize travel, and it’s been a game-changer. Whether it’s sipping espresso in a quaint café in Paris, hiking the lush trails of Bali, or dancing to the rhythms of Rio de Janeiro, every trip enriches my soul and adds to the tapestry of my life. While I’ve yet to encounter those places, my bucket list is calling out to my quest for adventure!!

Living on My Own Terms

Living life on my own terms means embracing independence and making choices that align with my values and desires. It’s about saying yes to adventures and opportunities that excite me. It’s time to say no to anything that doesn’t serve my well-being. It means pursuing passions and hobbies, investing in self-care, and surrounding myself with positivity.

One of the most empowering aspects of this journey has been learning to love myself unconditionally. Society often imposes unrealistic standards on women, particularly African-American women. We’re expected to be everything to everyone—flawless, strong, and endlessly giving. But the truth is, we’re human. We deserve to put ourselves first sometimes  and celebrate our achievements.

We deserve to acknowledge our worth.  It’s about carving out time for the things that make us tick and learning how to say no sometimes when you know it’s time to relax and decompress.  I will not run myself into the ground working until it kills me.

I’ve learned to take advantage of the PTO I’ve earned and let go of the next “standard of success” I’m told I need to meet.  I’ve put my time in and achieved many things.  So, if I never earn another degree or certification as corporate America attempts to “direct” me towards their standard of acceptance, I’m good over here in my own world living in peace and harmony.  It took a while to get here, but I’m here.  Credentials do not determine who I am s a person.

The Power of Community

While living independently is empowering, I also believe in the power of community. Surrounding myself with like-minded women who uplift and inspire me has been crucial. I’m ready to share our stories, celebrate our victories, and support each other through challenges. There’s a special bond that forms when you connect with others who understand your journey, and it’s a reminder that we’re never truly alone.

I’ve also found immense joy in the goal of mentoring younger women, offering them the wisdom and encouragement that I’ve gained over the years. The visualization of getting to see them grow and thrive is incredibly rewarding, and it reinforces the idea that we all have something valuable to contribute.

Health and Wellness

Another key aspect of living my best life is prioritizing health and wellness. As we age, our bodies and minds require more attention and care. I’ve made it a point to stay active, eat well, and practice mindfulness. Whether it’s a morning yoga session, a hike in nature, or simply meditating for a few minutes each day, these practices keep me grounded and energized.

I’ve also embraced the beauty of self-care. This can be anything from a relaxing bubble bath to a spa day, or even just taking time to read a good book. Self-care is not selfish; it’s necessary. It replenishes our energy and allows us to give our best selves to the world.

Celebrating Every Moment

Ultimately, living boldly and confidently after 45 is about celebrating every moment. It’s about waking up each day with gratitude and excitement, knowing that the best is yet to come. It’s about embracing change, taking risks, and never settling for anything less than extraordinary.

So, to all my fellow African-American women over 45, don’t let society dictate how you should live your life. Rock that short blonde fade, travel to your heart’s content, and live boldly. The world is your oyster, and there’s so much more to explore, experience, and enjoy. Here’s to living our best lives, on our own terms, and with unshakable confidence. Cheers to us!